This is an automatically generated news article, which has been issued while Dr. Zaius is busy with important scientific research which will be to the benefit to both monkey and humankind.
(Ed. Doc! You lazy fecker, get off Dawnguard!)
God damn it! Alright, so the exciting news is that for Bethesda and Bioware marks like myself Christmas, Easter and Halloween have come early as the first piece of DLC for Skyrim has arrived on the 360. Dawnguard sees the return of the vampire Lord Harkon and the formation of the Dawnguard who band together to foil his plans to get his undead hands on the titular Elder Scrolls. With brand new skills and features this little gem will set you back 1600 MS Points (£14, give or take.)
If that wasn’t enough to have you slobbering like a fiend on Bath Salts, the Extended Ending DLC for Mass Effect 3 has also arrived. Adding new cuts scenes, dialogue choices and (hopefully) ironing out some of the wrinkles which displeased many fans of the sci-fi epic, this is a great opportunity to go back and play through the concluding part of one of the finest space operas ever produced. Plus it won’t cost you a single penny to download.
I’m off to hide in the stationary cupboard with a 360 and few tubes of Pringles. If anyone is looking for me tell them I’ve been called away on urgent business in Nicaragua. Thanks chums.