Spartacus : Vengeance | Gamerillaz

Spartacus : Vengeance

Spartacus : Vengeance
 

Juno’s c**t!! Spartacus is back…after the stopgap but surprisingly great mini-prequel Gods of the Arena the real thing is back and, apart from one fairly major detail, it’s like it’s never been away. The exact same sets, the same ropey CG backgrounds, the excessive debauchery, cheesy rock soundtrack and spectacular bloodletting…all  present. The vast howling pachyderm in the room is of course the newbie Spartacus. After the tragic death of Andy Whitfeld it would seem to be quite the poisoned chalice to be taking over his character and despite howls of derision from the geek chorus…the new guy’s perfectly fine.

Apart from looking about a decade younger than his predecessor, he fulfils the main Spartacus role in that (a) he looks good in ugg boots and stubble (b) he’s ultra-stabby and (c) he’s seems slightly less thick than his meat-headed cohorts. People have probably forgotten how really bad the first few episodes of the original Spartacus were, so in that respect Spartacus: Vengeance has gotten off to a respectable if not stunning start. The limited budget is more obvious than ever and the dodgy green screen backdrops are possibly even more dodgy than before. There’s a few familiar faces showing up early…blond uber-twunt Illithya and her shark-eyed hubby, stumpy alpha-jock Crixus (acting mostly with his neck as usual) and scary golem Doctore hovering in the background.

The gore is grotesque and hilariously over the top as usual, with the signature (and wincingly realistic) slashed jugulars making their usual cameo mere seconds after the start. There’s also some strap-on action, a massacre at an orgy and one minor character already being written out in a rather messy fashion. Look it’s Spartacus…don’t analyse it, just settle in and let the tidal wave of strange dialogue and excessive..everything…wash over you.

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