The Alpha and the Omega – 2011 Movie Roundup | Gamerillaz

The Alpha and the Omega – 2011 Movie Roundup

The Alpha and the Omega – 2011 Movie Roundup
 

 

Let’s face it, it hasnt been a vintage year even by the least demanding criteria. Lots of forgettable superhero movies and the continual reliance on plastic 3d glasses to thwart the swarming denizens of piratebay. As usual, the best stuff was to be found on your TV…Game of Thrones impressed, American Horror Story was a bit mental, and everyone was a bit subdued by the death of Andy Whitfield of the awesome Spartacus.

Lets get the good stuff out of the way first. Best Movie of the year – I’m tempted by I Saw The Devil but I’m playing it safe and going for a crowdpleasing tag team of Rise of the Planet of the Apes and Source Code.

Rise of the Planet of the Apes – Hugely entertaining and very surprising sort-of prequel to Tim Burton’s deeply flawed remake. A lovely surprise…like getting into bed expecting Margaret Thatcher and finding Jessica Biel instead. And we’re obviously partial to a bit of simian cinema around these parts.

 

 

Source Code – Still have grave reservations about the internal movie logic, but maybe the movie is actually just more intelligent than i am. Consistently engaging and like last year’s Inception, actually credited the audience with some kind of…brain..good…stuff.

 

Other good stuff…

 

Stake Land - Unexpectedly fine post-apocalyptic vampires vs vampire hunters vs religious zealots. Great stuff.
Julia’s Eyes - Ultra-slick spanish thriller from the director of El Orfanato. Amazing perfomances and an oddly affecting finale.
I Saw The Devil - Ferocious and brilliantly constructed Korean ultraviolent revenge thriller. Alright that sounds like a lot of Korean movies but this one really is a a bit special.
Troll Hunter - Great effects and a fresh take on the fake documentary format.

Now’s here’s the stuff that you shouldnt have been watching, and if you did you deserve a fist in the balls.

Attack the Block – “Outer Space meets Inner City”…you feel me blud? Charmless and witless debut from Joe Cornish, trying to somehow use the medium of cinema to purge himself from an unpleasant real-life interaction with scurrying untermenschen. Boring and entirely lacking in tension or, most surprisingly humour, Cornish’s attempt to prototype a hoodie antihero crashed and burned and looked ever more misjudged considering our summer of scum-vs-shop window tomfoolery. Innit though?

LIttle Deaths – awful british sex-themed horror anthology which staggers from mediocre cannibalism, to muddled body horror, to just….greasy tat. Horror anthologies are usually a mixed bag, but this is a particularly jarring one. The first one is a fairly predicable tables-turned class warfare piece with a wee bit of cannibalism. It’s probably the least bad of the three, and the ending does at least bring the splatter. The second tale involved a prostitute hooked on drugs harvested from the three foot knob of a captured gimp powered by blended human organ smoothies. Yes, that old chestnut. Rubbish. The last is a grimy tale about s+m hi-rise bellends and their uninteresting power struggle culminating in a deeply unpleasant denouement involving dogs and stew and nude people. Takes itself very seriously but a total waste of everybody’s time.
Orcs – f__king useless tat by people who have no business making movies.
The Latest Transformers Movie. Didnt watch it, as I’m not going to. But I’m confident it’s terrible.

And finally the random roundup…

 

Best Kill : Beartrap to the Head, Straw Dogs. Multi throat slash spinning in-car carousel, I Saw The Devil.

Best Gratuitious Lesbionic action : Game of Thrones

Best exploding penis movie : The Taint
That’s it! Let’s hope for less zombies and more lesbians next year. Later humans.

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