Hatchet 2 | Gamerillaz

Hatchet 2

Hatchet 2
 

 

The original “Hatchet” was a mildly entertaining 80′s style slasher with some nifty OTT kills and a scorchingly hot female lead.  Nothing special, but agreeably old school splatter. It was an admirable calling card for newbie director Adam Green (currently spending a lot of time on twittermoaning about people stealing his movies via the internet. They probably wouldnt have heard about your movies without the internet, guy. Anyway I bought Frozen after downloading it for free, so f**k you in the ear Adam Green)
So how is this sequel to a homage to a traditionally highly derivative genre?
A big let down after the excellent “Frozen”, which was a genuinely sharp and well-crafted survival horror thriller, and inferior to the not exactly awesome original…but does have Ministry’s “Just One Fix” as its title music. No real reason for it to be there and its a bit jarring but a good song is a good song. The problems are as follows:
There’s too much Victor Crowley. He isnt scary, he looks like a huge mongoloid garbage pail kid. Except not as scary as that sounds.
The extremely fit girl from the first movie did actually survive, except now seems to have been replaced by a 14-year old imposter.
The first half of the movie DRAAAAAAAAAAAGS. The sole survivor from the first movie makes her way out of Crowley’s swamp, wanders back to town and spends what seems like about 40 minutes trying to engineer a new platoon of Crowley Cannon Fodder back to the swamp.
Thankfully once all thats out of the way, the giant fire-damaged Chucky doll shows up, the killing starts and it’s harsher, splatterier and more wince-inducing than the original. In fact the violence is really all there is. The acting is uniformly awful and the script seems to have been written mere minutes before the cameras started rolling. Ultimately a rather shoddy and rushed effort that suggests the filmakers probably had marginally more fun making it than you’ll have watching what is essentially an enjoyable 20 minutes special fx gore showreel hidden in an 80 minute movie.
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