Burning Bright | Gamerillaz

Burning Bright

Burning Bright
 

So you’ve gone down to the kitchen at 3am to get a sandwich. You shouldnt be eating f**king carbs at this hour anyway but there are more pressing matters.You turn on the light and what’s in front of you, turning your bowels to freezing water? No, not a midget burglar masturbating into your italian cheese pasta, but a feckin great…tiger.

Is that scary? I’m not sure and thats probably one of the problems that Burning Bright has. Being trapped in your house during a storm with a massive hungry carnivore would probably be mildly fatal and generally unenjoyable but it’s not really the stuff nightmares are made of. So this tiger, who – according to Meat “Remaining Men Together” Loaf – is a bollix of a tiger who once ate a horse, gets purchased by some cracker with deluded ideas about creating a safari in his back garden. A mighty storm descends and a tidy young lass and her young brother – who has a touch of the screaming rainmans and the regulation hollywood child bowler haircut – get locked into their house with the stripy malevolent feline. Technically, It’s actually all done really well considering such a odd premise, but there’s no real sense of menace and it’s all very tame.

The tiger growls a bit, eats through some doors and flails at our heroes in a dodgy after-effectsy way but meh. At least the house is massive, so we get a lot of running from room to room. Who’d get sick of that eh.

“Jeez you got a big pussy! Jeez you got a big pussy!”
“Why’d you say that twice?”
“I didnt! AAAAAAGH HELP A MASSIVE TIGER HAS GOT MY LEG”
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